“Jeannette” is a sweet and lovely lady who has been living independently in her home that she shared with her husband for over 50 years. Her husband passed away several years ago and since then, Jeannette’s dementia has progressed to the point that she tends to forget things.
Her family decided that it would be best to have a home support worker visit Jeannette daily to help with cooking, some light housekeeping, and companionship.
She gets along really well with her home support worker, “Linda.” While putting away the dishes, Linda noticed that there was a $20 bill oddly placed under one of the plates in the cupboard. Although this was unusual, Linda knew that it is a common behaviour for someone with dementia to hide things in unexpected places.
However, as she continued to put the dishes away, she noticed there were more paper bills stashed underneath the other plates and bowls. After having found over a hundred dollars, Linda thought that she needed to inform Jeannette’s daughter. Linda placed the money she found in a ziplock bag and put it away in a secure place in the house.
The “Treasure Hunt”
When Jeannette’s daughter came over, she and Linda decided to make a sweep around the house to see if Jeannette had hidden more money in other places around the house.
They have uncovered money stashed underneath cushions, lamps, books, toilet tanks, pillows, and other odd places around the house. They felt like they were in a “treasure hunt.” At the end of their search, they were able to gather over twenty thousand dollars!
Why did Jeanette keep money hidden all over the house?
The question then remained “Why?” Why did Jeannette hide money all over the house?
Jeannette’s daughter remembered that when her Dad was alive, he was very controlling, particularly of the finances. She remembered many times when her Mom struggled with trying to stretch the budget and the “allowance” her Dad gave her Mom.
She realized that her Mom probably learned to put away and hide some money aside from the allowance her Dad gave her Mom which accumulated over the years. She needed to do that to survive and to provide for her children.
With Jeannette’s dementia, she had completely forgotten about the money she had stashed all over the house.
How to support Jeanette and her hiding behaviour
With the substantial amount of money they have uncovered, Jeannette’s daughter decided to put away the money in a trust for her Mom. She anticipated that there would come a time when her Mom would eventually move to long-term care and wanted to make sure that her Mom would have this money available for her so she can live more comfortably and have something extra for whatever she may need in the future.
As Jeannette is still physically able to move around the house, Linda and Jeannette’s daughter thought that it would be a good idea to return some of the money back under some of the plates and inside some jars where Jeannette hid them. This would help make Jeannette feel safe and secure and reduce any risks for any possible anxiety if she checks on her “secret stashes.”
Some final thoughts
Hiding behaviors in individuals with dementia can be distressing, but understanding the reasons behind such actions and employing appropriate strategies such as the ones listed above can help reduce anxiety and maintain peace in the relationship.
It is essential to approach the issue with empathy, patience, and understanding. In Jeannette’s case, it is easy to empathize with why she felt the need to hide money away as it was her coping mechanism towards a financially-controlling partner. Therefore, helping Jeannette to continue to feel safe and in control is a way of respecting her dignity and autonomy.
If you have concerns about a loved one or a friend and don’t know what to do, you are not alone. Reach out and ask for help. We can help by brainstorming ideas with you that will best suit your situation. Begin by contacting us through our website www.DementiaSolutions.ca to arrange your free 20-minute consultation with one of our Dementia Care Advisors.
DISCLAIMER:
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
