A New Year’s Eve Story — Dealing With the Challenges of Memory Loss

Moments of forgetfulness can put a dent in our day—whether it’s searching frantically for car keys in the morning, accidentally missing a dentist appointment scheduled weeks in advance, or forgetting to lock the back door. Memory lapses can be stressful indeed! Yet as exasperating as these episodes may be, the frustration felt by those with dementia who experience memory loss is often magnified ten-fold. For caregivers too, dealing with someone who at times may not be able to remember where they are, what time it is, or what to do, can be a daunting challenge. This is why it is vital to highlight that creative solutions do exist in managing challenging behaviours caused by memory loss. In fact, I was recently told of an incident that proves just that!

A lady (‘Jane’) was struggling to cope with the memory loss affecting her husband (‘Joe’) who had dementia. Every time they had plans to leave the house, Joe would forget that he had been told about it, becoming belligerent and resistant. Much to Jane’s annoyance, he would refuse to go out, complaining that he had not been informed. New Year’s Eve was no exception—when it was time to leave for a party, he insisted that he would not step out. Jane was at her wit’s end when their friends, another couple (‘Alice’ and ‘Adam’), arrived at the house to pick them up.

After hearing about the problem, Alice proposed a possible solution—every caregiver, from time to time, needs a helping hand after all! Using Therapeutic Reasoning™, Alice approached Joe and convinced him that the party was a surprise party for Adam that they were trying to keep secret. She knew Joe was a good friend of her husband Adam, and would likely be more receptive to the idea of going to the surprise party. Alice was right! To Jane’s relief, Joe got dressed and they went to the party where they all had a great time ringing in the New Year together.

This is just one example of how effective Therapeutic Reasoning™ can be. (You can learn more about this strategy on my website here.) This approach doesn’t try to force reality onto someone with dementia, but adjusts to their perception of ‘reality’ instead, helping caregivers avoid the distress and agitation that memory loss can trigger. For Jane and Joe, it turned a stressful evening into an enjoyable celebration with friends and loved ones—which is the best kind of New Year’s Eve there is!