Do people with dementia still understand the meaning of holidays and special occasions? Do they still appreciate the effort put into these moments? Can they still enjoy the festivities or engage in these traditions?
How can caregivers keep the spirit of these moments alive when the person they are caring for may not recognize or remember them or appreciate what’s going on around them?
While dementia can alter how someone perceives these events, the spirit of celebration can still bring joy—though it may require some adjustments and a different perspective.
The Story of “Arlene and Dominic”
Arlene fondly remembers the way Dominic used to light up at birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. He’d pick out thoughtful gifts and never miss a chance to make her feel special. But recently, she’s noticed a shift in Dominic’s response to these special occasions.
Dominic no longer gets excited about gifts, and he doesn’t seem to remember their special days at all. On their last anniversary, Arlene gave him a carefully chosen present, but he showed little recognition of the occasion. The sadness was overwhelming for her, as she realized their shared traditions might never be the same again.
The Meaning Behind Dominic’s Behaviour
What Arlene is experiencing is common among caregivers of people with dementia. As dementia progresses, the ability to understand abstract concepts like holidays and anniversaries can diminish.
This isn’t due to a lack of care or love but rather because the changes in their cognitive function prevent them from understanding what’s going on and the significance behind the gifts.
Try not to take it personally. Dominic likely doesn’t associate dates or gifts with their emotional significance anymore. Understanding this can help caregivers adjust expectations and approach celebrations with a new perspective.
Tips for Celebrating Special Moments
While it’s natural to feel hurt, it’s important not to take this change personally. Instead, consider adapting how you celebrate these special moments:
- Focus on the present. Celebrate the moment, even if your loved one doesn’t fully understand why. A shared laugh, a favourite song, or simply spending time together can bring joy and may cause some firing of their brain neurons and create a moment of clarity.
- Simplify traditions. Just because it’s “simple” does not mean it’s not special. Rather than grand gestures, opt for smaller, meaningful activities. For example, instead of a lavish Christmas dinner, enjoy a cozy meal with their favourite comfort foods.
- Be creative. Create a NEW Christmas tradition! Instead of a Christmas tree, create and decorate a personalized and festive fidget blanket with family photos, dates of special occasions (e.g., birthdays and anniversaries), special mementos, and textures they can enjoy.
- Start a time capsule and update it every year during Christmas time. This idea provides a beautiful way to preserve memories for both of you while creating an ongoing tradition that can evoke joy and nostalgia, even if the person with dementia no longer recalls past events.
Reaching Out for Support
The sadness of navigating these changes can feel isolating. However, reaching out to others can make a significant difference. Support groups provide a safe space to share experiences and receive guidance. Hearing from others who have walked a similar path can remind you that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid.
Turning Change into Celebration
Holidays and anniversaries will always be special. The way we celebrate them may need to change, but their essence remains the same: togetherness, love, and connection. These moments are about more than the events themselves—they are a reflection of the bonds we share with one another and the love that endures, regardless of the challenges we face.
Instead of focusing on what was lost, embrace the opportunity to create new traditions. By celebrating differently, we honour the past while making space for joy in the present. This is an opportunity to create new traditions. Celebrating in new ways doesn’t diminish the significance of the occasion—it enhances it, reminding us that even in change, there is still beauty, meaning, and joy to be found.
Happy Holidays from all of us here at Dementia Solutions! We are here for you!💖🎄
If you have concerns about a loved one or a friend and don’t know what to do, you are not alone. Reach out and ask for help. We can help by brainstorming ideas with you that will best suit your situation. Begin by contacting us through our website www.DementiaSolutions.ca to arrange your free 20-minute consultation with one of our Dementia Care Advisors.
If you have concerns about a client/resident, a loved one, or a friend and don’t know what to do, please reach out and ask for help. You are not alone. We can help by brainstorming creative ideas with you that will best suit your situation. Begin by contacting us through our website www.DementiaSolutions.ca to arrange your free 20-minute consultation with one of our Dementia Care Advisors.
DISCLAIMER:
This article is based on a true story; however, names, locations, and certain events have been altered to protect the privacy and confidentiality of the individuals involved. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
