Despite the jingling bells, one-horse open sleighs, and partridges in pear trees, Christmas, for many, can also be an occasion for seasonal stress, and for those with loved ones living with dementia the holidays can feel particularly daunting.
So what can family members of those with dementia do to ease the anxiety that surrounds this festive season? It can all be summed up in one word, ‘preparation,’ and, to help prepare, we’ve created a checklist of Tips for a Merry (Stress-free) Christmas!
Make a Plan: Don’t stress about covering every small detail and remember that you may have to adjust as you go along, but having a general plan in advance will help you enjoy the holidays more. Try to incorporate into the plan the places, people, environments etc., that bring comfort to your loved one with dementia.
Environments that are Familiar May Be More Comfortable: For many of those with dementia, especially those in the later stages, familiarity brings more comfort. For example, if your loved one has been living in a care home, they may be happier having family visit them there, rather than having to make an outing themselves. Many care homes will let you book a private dining space in advance for family gatherings.
Reminders are Helpful: Here’s an example: if you’re taking your loved one somewhere for the holidays, you can set reminders on your smart phone so that you don’t forget any medications.
Reassure When Needed: If you notice red flags indicating that your loved one is becoming anxious, remember that reassurance can help ease their worries. Use supportive words, but also try communicating reassurance through a gentle tone of voice and positive body language.
Yummy Treats that Trigger Happy Memories: Think of some of the memorable meals and foods that your loved one enjoys and try including them in your holiday menu.
Communicate Positively: Christmas can be a time for family bonding, but it can also give rise to some family friction. Though you may get frustrated at times (as we all do!) try to be mindful of communicating positively. Remind yourself to not take their behaviour or words personally, and try to communicate in ways that will help them feel safe and boost their sense of well-being.
Have a “Plan B”: Planning is important but don’t feel tied down to it. Especially when dealing with someone with dementia, unexpected behaviours may arise and plans may need to change. So have a “Plan B” handy!
Reminisce: Whether it’s a story told by the fireplace that brings back warm memories, old photographs of past Christmases, or simply chatting about playing in the snow as a child, reminiscing can open the flood gates to a treasure trove of happy memories.
It’s Better to Keep the Peace: it can be all too easy to go down the path of an argument during the holidays. So whenever you find your blood pressure rising, remind yourself to take some deep breaths and keep the peace. Fostering a peaceful, harmonious environment will make all the difference to your loved one with dementia.
Self-Care is Important: This is a key point to keep in mind! Dealing with someone with dementia can be challenging, and the holiday season can often add to the stress, so make sure that you are finding time to relax and take care of yourself.
Try Therapeutic Reasoning: When someone with dementia displays a challenging behaviour, therapeutic reasoning may be the best antidote. Instead of telling them that what they’re feeling or thinking isn’t real, try to go into their reality and reassure them instead that all will be well. Agree, say sorry, tell them that you will look into their concerns or that their concerns have been solved, even if they haven’t been. This will have a calming effect and result in a more peaceful Christmas for everyone!
Make New Traditions (or Modify Old Ones): Traditions are wonderful, but some traditions may no longer be comfortable for your loved one. If this is the case, simply make some adjustments and try creating new traditions that your loved one may enjoy more. For example, a formal Christmas meal at which everyone has to use multiple forks and spoons, may not be practical. Instead, singing Christmas carols in a circle could result in a much more fun time.
Avoid Negative Triggers: Try to think of any sights, sounds, smells, tastes, environments etc. that could act as a negative trigger. If your loved one feels sad whenever they hear a particular carol, try to make sure it isn’t played. Perhaps the sight of snow outside makes them anxious, so turning their chair away from the window may be a good idea.
Sing, Smile and be Merry: It’s a cliché, but music truly is food for the soul. Singing Christmas carols can be a great way for someone with dementia to participate in the holiday merrymaking. Even if they’re unable to sing along, simply hearing familiar melodies or tapping along to the tune can raise their spirits. So go ahead and sing, smile and be merry—your positivity can then be mirrored by your loved one with dementia.
We hope these tips will help you and your loved ones enjoy a very Merry Christmas! Though the holiday season can be a whirlwind at times, Christmas truly is the season to be jolly. So cherish the special moments (capture them with your camera if you can!), and even if your loved one does not remember this Christmas a few months later, remember that the time shared together with those we love is the most valuable gift there is.
Please know that if you have questions you can reach out to us at any time at: Info@DementiaSolutions.ca Happy Holidays from all of us at Personalized Dementia Solutions Inc.!
