Imagine trying to cook but not knowing which utensils to use, which ingredients to choose, or even how to turn on the stove. It would be incredibly frustrating, undoubtedly difficult, and the end result would likely not resemble the picture in the cookbook. To avoid burnt meals and mistaking salt for sugar, we often rely on our most basic instincts in the kitchen to see us through. However, for those with dementia, the effects of memory loss and impaired cognitive functioning can make even the most fundamental kitchen skills difficult to grasp. Knowing how to grate cheese or bring water to a boil may seem evident to us, but for those with dementia, even the simplest of tasks can be an obstacle.
If someone with dementia, who used to be a habitual cook, is no longer donning the apron, it may be a sign that support is needed. This was the case for “Alice” who has dementia and used to cook frequently before the progression of her condition. Alice’s daughter, “Liz,” began noticing ‘red flags’ that seemed to indicate that Alice was not eating as well as she used to. Whenever she visited, she saw that her mum appeared to be losing weight. Liz’s dad also confirmed that Alice was no longer cooking as much. Yet, in Alice’s own view, she believed herself to be healthy, insisting that she was simply ‘choosing’ not to cook as much. Alice, like many of those with dementia, experiences “anosognosia,” which is essentially a lack of awareness by someone that they have an illness.
Since Liz’s dad was never one to cook, Liz knew she had to take action to ensure that both her parents would receive a healthy diet. After researching meal delivery services for seniors, Liz found a company through which she could order wholesome meals that only needed to be popped into the microwave. She also frequently offers to help her mum in the kitchen, playing the role of sous-chef, so that her mum can still take enjoyment in the creativity of cooking, which is also known to be therapeutic, but yet have the assistance she needs. By providing gentle cues and guidance, Liz is able to support her mum in the kitchen without making her feel incompetent in any way.
It’s important to understand, like Liz did, that when someone with dementia stops cooking as much, it’s not due to laziness, but rather because none of us wants to feel “un-able” in completing a task. Alice and Liz’s story is a great reminder that, as caregivers, we must first understand the meaning behind a behaviour before finding a solution. For Alice and Liz, cooking in the kitchen is now quality-time spent together for both mother and daughter.
