As we pause to reflect on Remembrance Day, we are reminded not only of the sacrifices made in times of war but also of the deep and lasting impact those experiences have had on individuals and families. Many people living with dementia today carry with them vivid memories of wartime. These memories can resurface unexpectedly, shaping behaviours that may seem confusing until we understand the history behind them.
Ken’s Story
“Ken” was living in long-term care, where his wife, “Hanna,” visited regularly. Both had immigrated from Poland and carried unsettling memories of World War II. As Ken’s dementia progressed, his short-term memory faded, and he often slipped back into his earlier life experiences, reverting to his first language of Polish.
One afternoon, the staff at the care home noticed Ken standing anxiously by a window. His expression was tense, and when he spotted a care worker, he urgently whispered, “Get down!” His tone was certain and clearly alarmed. He was visibly scared. Recognizing what may be happening to Ken and to avoid adding to his anxiety, the staff member, without any hesitation, crouched with him, entering his reality with compassion and care.
A Window Into the Past
When asked what was happening, Ken explained in hushed tones that “the Germans” and their tanks were outside. For him, the present moment had dissolved into a vivid wartime memory. What seemed unusual behaviour was, in fact, an echo of past trauma.
Recognizing this, the staff member gently peeked out the side of the window, then acted relieved: “They’re gone. We’re safe now.” This reassurance helped Ken gradually ease his fear. To further calm him, the staff member walked with him down another hallway, gently redirecting him and restoring his sense of safety.
The Need for A Compassionate Approach
Ken’s reaction wasn’t irrational. It was rooted in lived experience. Trauma from war had left a lasting imprint, one that dementia had brought to the surface. Instead of dismissing or correcting him, the staff member used Therapeutic Reasoning™, validating his fear, entering his world, and then guiding him back to a calmer state.
This approach highlights the importance of trauma-informed dementia care: understanding that behaviours have meaning, and that past experiences, especially ones as profound as war, can resurface and shape how someone responds to the present.
The Impact of Understanding The Behaviour
Ken was authentically in fear for his life. He believed it was wartime, and he was in danger. By meeting Ken with empathy instead of correction, the staff member was able to provide reassurance and preserve his dignity. What could have been dismissed as “odd behaviour” was, in truth, a moment of vulnerability that required empathy, understanding, and compassion.
Ken’s story reminds us that dementia behaviours are often tied to history, identity, and memory. Especially around Remembrance Day, it is important to acknowledge the hidden battles some people still carry within them. Their stories deserve to be met with respect, patience, and understanding.
A Call for Awareness
Just as trauma-informed care has become vital in schools and health settings, dementia-informed communities are equally essential. Families, caregivers, healthcare staff, and even those who may not expect to encounter dementia – like maintenance workers, drivers, or volunteers- can all benefit from understanding the condition.
A dementia-aware community is a safer, kinder, and more inclusive one. When caring for people with dementia, it is important to remember that the behaviours we see are rarely random. They are messages, rooted in experiences that still live in memory. By listening with empathy and responding with compassion, we can transform fear into reassurance and confusion into connection.
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DISCLAIMER:
This article is based on a true story; however, names, locations, and certain events have been altered to protect the privacy and confidentiality of the individuals involved. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
