Wendy, a compassionate nurse and Co-Owner of Nurse Next Door in (Burnaby/New Westminster/ Tri-Cities), British Columbia, has spent years walking alongside older adults on their dementia journeys. As a Certified Dementia Care Provider, she embraces person-centred care not just as a philosophy—but as a daily practice. One of her recent experiences with a long-time client named “Brigida” reminds us all that small moments of understanding can lead to deeply meaningful breakthroughs.
Meeting Brigida Where She Was
Brigida had been a client with Nurse Next Door for some time. Over the years, as her dementia progressed, her ability to communicate declined, and along with it, her sense of trust. Recently, Brigida began refusing care when it came to her important and necessary foot care.
When Wendy was called in to trim Brigida’s toenails, she quickly realized the situation had become urgent. Brigida’s toenails had grown so long they were curling inward, at risk of puncturing her skin and causing a serious infection. Yet Brigida remained resistant, pulling away from anyone’s attempt to help in getting her toenails trimmed.
The Detective Work of Dementia Care
In the Certified Dementia Care Provider program, caregivers are constantly reminded to approach refusal of care not with frustration, but with curiosity. Behaviour is communication, and there’s always a reason behind it. So Wendy asked herself the key question: “Why?”
What she saw was not stubbornness, but fear. Brigida wasn’t just saying “no”—she was afraid. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid that her vulnerability wouldn’t be honoured. With her decreasing ability to express that in words, her resistance was the only language she had left.
A Simple Gesture That Changed Everything
Wendy took a breath. Then, instead of trying to convince Brigida with words alone, she reached for a more powerful tool: trust, built through demonstration. Sitting beside Brigida, Wendy calmly took out the nail clippers and began trimming her own nails—slowly, gently, smiling as she did. The tools, delightfully pink (Brigida’s favourite colour), caught her attention. Wendy knew this was her favourite colour and proudly ensured she had on the pink mask, gown, and gloves!
Brigida watched, intrigued.
In a soothing and reassuring tone, Wendy took the opportunity to ask Brigida, “May I try one nail? And you let me know what you think?”
Wendy clipped one nail using gentle approaches. Paused. Then waited until Brigida was comfortable and was ready for another. She chatted about the day, shared a few laughs, and created a space where Brigida felt heard, respected, and—most importantly—safe.
Two hours later, every nail was carefully trimmed. One clip at a time. No shortcuts. No rushing. Just presence, patience, and love.
The Bigger Picture
In a world where care often happens on tight schedules and rushed timelines, Wendy’s story is a powerful reminder: slowing down IS person-centred care. Taking the time to understand what a person with dementia is feeling—especially when they can no longer say it—requires more than skill. It requires heart.
Brigida’s story isn’t just about foot care. It’s about the trust that can grow from compassion. The dignity that comes from being treated as a whole person, and the healing that happens when caregivers choose patience over pressure.
A Message of Hope
Whether you’re a professional caregiver juggling multiple clients or a family member trying your best at home, this story is for you. The dementia journey isn’t always easy—but moments of connection like these remind us why we show up, day after day.
Sometimes the greatest breakthroughs don’t come from doing more, but from slowing down, listening deeply, and letting love lead.
Wendy’s story also highlights something else that is equally powerful: the impact of education. As a Certified Dementia Care Provider, Wendy has equipped herself with the knowledge and tools to see beyond the behaviour—to understand the root causes, to communicate with compassion, and to meet each client where they are. Her ongoing commitment to learning has not only empowered her to provide better care but has brought comfort, dignity, and safety to people like Brigida.
Education is what transforms caregiving from a set of tasks into an act of connection. It helps us understand the whole person—their fears, preferences, past experiences, and emotional needs. It reminds us that behind every behaviour is a human being trying to make sense of their changing world.
So, whether you are just beginning your caregiving journey or have walked this path for years, let this story remind you: you are not alone. With the right knowledge, the right support, and a heart open to learning, you can make a difference—one moment, one interaction, one person at a time.
Let compassion guide you. Let education empower you. And never underestimate the quiet power of patience. Because in dementia care, these are the moments that change everything.
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If you found this article helpful and if you’re worried about a loved one or a friend and aren’t sure where to turn, you’re not alone. We’re here to help! Reach out, and together we can brainstorm solutions tailored to your unique situation. Start by visiting our website at https://dementiasolutions.ca/private-consulting/ to schedule your free 20-minute consultation with one of our experienced Dementia Care Advisors. We’re here to support you every step of the way.
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DISCLAIMER:
This article is based on a true story; however, names, locations, and certain events have been altered to protect the privacy and confidentiality of the individuals involved. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
