Travel can be a relaxing experience, especially when involving palm trees and piña coladas. However, challenges can also arise on holiday, such as missing luggage and delays at airports, to name a few. For those on holiday with someone who has dementia, these common travel-related anxieties are often compounded with more specific concerns.

A Quick Thinking Guide

In the case of two daughters (‘Liz’ and ‘Abby’) and their mum (‘Ellen’) who has dementia, a combination of preparation and creative quick-thinking helped guide their cruise vacation away from being a frustratingly bumpy ride, towards calmer waters.

Liz and Abby knew that their mum could display challenging behaviours at times.  Since I was advising them as a dementia consultant, before their trip, I sent them a sheet of a business cards stating: “Please excuse my family member who has dementia.” I suggested that they print out the cards so that they could hand out, without their mum noticing to others who may find her behaviour odd. This way, if their mum began being disruptive at dinner, for example, the waiter may be able to be more supportive.

Despite the strategy, dinner time on the cruise two evenings became quite stressful. Since Ellen is a small eater, she would usually not order an appetizer. However, when she saw her daughters’ appetizer arrive, she forgot that she had not ordered one. Instead, due to her dementia symptoms, she claimed that her daughters were choosing to exclude her from the meal. Agitated, she began raising her voice at the table, much to the dismay of Liz and Abby.

Putting On Your Creative Hat

So the daughters put on their ‘creative hat’ and started to think of a solution for why she became so upset. They decided that at the next dinner they would quietly ask the waiter if they could provide chicken noodle soup…their mum’s favorite meal. To their delight, they said they could accommodate. So for each meal they quietly requested their mum receive a small cup of chicken noodle soup as her appetizer whether she wanted an appetizer or not during the ordering stage. This way she would feel included in the meal when all the appetizers came out. They tried it out and it worked!

Their story not only highlights the importance of being prepared with strategies for dealing with dementia-related behaviours on a trip, but also to be ready to examine the meaning behind the behaviour so that you can better come up with creative solutions on the spot that will be helpful for everyone. For Liz, Abby and Ellen, it helped them turn a ‘stressed voyage’ into a ‘bon voyage’!