How Does Children Cope?
It’s not easy for anyone in the family to cope with a member having Alzheimer’s disease, but it can be even harder for children and youth. Being young doesn’t mean children don’t know what’s happening around them, but if an honest explanation is not given, and if they’re kept in the dark, they become anxious, fearful, and unsure about how to deal with the affects of the disease. The question is then, how should we deal with this monster under the bed type of anxiety? Since the Alzheimer Society of BC is very comprehensive in its coverage of this topic, we turn to look at their recommendations and offer a few examples of our own to enhance.
The Alzheimer Society notes the reactions of children and teens, which include sadness, fearfulness, anxiousness, irritation and boredom, and confusion. Kids may also feel a great loss, as their loved one is not the same person they knew before the disease. Also, there may be feelings of anger and rejection, if there is less time and attention for their needs, when other family members have to care for the ill member of the family.
Creating An Open Door Policy
To minimize these negative feelings and concerns of children, it is crucial to speak with them about the disease and about how it affects their loved one. Create an open door policy and let them know that if they have questions and concerns, you would be the person to confide in and help. The Alzheimer Society suggests using humour. This is a wonderful idea, because humour relieves tension and creates good feelings, even in a bad situation. Make sure to tell them that their feelings are normal. But if they’re unwilling share, don’t push kids into expressing themselves – they’re just trying to process feelings and thoughts, and may come to you when they’re ready.
Isn’t life about love? We think so. Tell your child that by being there with, or visiting the loved one. They are showing love and respect, and it’s all they need to do to sustain a relationship with the person. When spending time with the loved one, encourage them to talk about the old days and share pictures and stories. Also, keep life as usual; if there’s a birthday to celebrate, make sure there’s cake and take pictures. Just keep in mind the celebration may need to be tailored to suite the needs of the loved one with dementia to ensure a great time for everyone.
Ensuring Help Is Always Available
One last and most important note; do not leave youth alone to take care of someone with Alzheimer’s disease unless you are certain they’re able to cope. Many young people may not be prepared and able to deal with someone’s disease, which can create unusual behaviour and situations. Always, and we mean always, make sure youth have access to help if they are unsure how to deal with the loved one’s disease.
Go ahead! Speak with your kids about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia; the more education and awareness there is for them, the better they can cope!
Karen 🙂
Karen Tyrell, CDP
Personalized Dementia Solutions
Personalized Dementia Solutions
