As a Dementia Consultant, I love what I do and I cannot imagine doing anything else. It brings me great joy and a sense of pride to hear stories of how families successfully apply our dementia strategies and eventually, no longer need my help. Isn’t that what “empowerment” is all about?

Here is a touching success story of Walt and Vickie.

Vickie’s Bathing Ritual

Walt and Vickie had been married for several years and have grandkids of their own. Walt is a loving husband who knows his wife really well – from her favourite songs to her bathing routine.

Vickie loves and looks forward to having her baths. She enjoys watching herself in their large bathroom mirror as Walt dries her hair. However, Vickie now has Alzheimer’s disease and requires her husband’s support. The entire process of bathing a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia can be challenging at times. As her Alzheimer’s progresses, Vickie has become increasingly impatient with how long it takes Walt to help dry her hair.

Walt’s Simple “Man-Smart” Solution

Previously, Walt used to start by drying the hair in the front and sides of Vickie’s head to help quickly show her how beautiful she looks. This leaves the hair on her back still wet. From where Vickie is sitting however, Walt realizes that she probably believes that her hair is completely dry at this point. It would therefore make sense why this would cause Vickie to become impatient and confused as to why Walt is taking too long.

So, Walt decided to simply…switch!  Instead of starting from the front and sides, he started with the hair at the back of her head. Success! It worked! Making this small adjustment made such a huge difference and it also helped reduce Vickie’s anxiety and impatience with him.

Caregiving is about knowing the person we are caring for and paying attention. When we pay attention, we show that we care. Paying attention allows us to notice right away when things seem “off.” When Walt noticed Vickie’s impatience, he asked “why?” When we ask “why,” it triggers our brain to analyze and come up with effective solutions.

Lessons from Walt and Vickie’s Story

One of the ways we can reduce caregiver burnout and anxiety is by becoming “dementia-informed.” Walt embraced and accepted Vickie’s diagnosis. He became a well-informed dementia caregiver. He knew what to expect, what to watch out for, and what strategies he can use to manage his wife’s dementia-related behaviours.

Her behaviour now made sense to him. He did not take it personally. He was able to see the reasons for her impatient behaviour. He realizes it’s not her; but rather, it’s the disease that is causing her to change.

As a Dementia Consultant, I believe in focusing on what can be done now. I too hope that there will be a cure soon for all the types of dementias, but I know my clients and families need help now. I am grateful and inspired by people like Walt who remind me that we all have the ability to make a positive difference in the lives of a person affected by dementia…now.

Disclaimer

This story is based on a real client’s dementia journey although the names and details have been modified to preserve confidentiality and protect privacy. Our “Meaning Behind the Behaviour Stories” are meant for informational purposes and to share best practices in dementia behaviour management. Each person is unique and what may work for one person, may not necessarily work for another. 

If you are in need of advice on how to keep routines or needing help on understanding ways to have successful interactions, contact us for our no-cost 20 minute phone or Zoom consultation for new clients. We promise and assure you that this is not a “sales call”. We cannot responsibly give advice over text or email as each case is different. We would like to provide you with the most appropriate and personalized dementia solutions you and your loved one deserve.