What does it mean to be a caregiver? The tasks can vary greatly—from helping at meal times, to assisting someone in getting out of bed, doing laundry, cooking dinner, or simply providing the comfort of company. Caregivers are trained nurses and care home workers with professional designations, but they are also spouses, daughters, sons, nephews, nieces and others who take care of family members. In my work as a Dementia Consultant I am continually reminded that caregiving comes in all shapes and sizes and that it encompasses more than performing a routine series of tasks. As I often emphasize, empathy (the sense of caring that underlies a task) and intuition (used to recognize changes and understand needs) are also key to the caregiving role, and both family members and professionals rely on them every day in dealing with the challenges of caring for someone with dementia.
I recently heard from a client, Tammy, whose story about her mother Deloris, highlights that family members, despite not being professionally trained caregivers, can use their empathy and intuition to identify changes in their loved ones. Rather than dismissing or ignoring the “red flags” she was observing in her mother, Tammy took steps to dig deeper and find solutions.
Tammy felt something was wrong when, despite the antibiotics Deloris was taking, her UTI (urinary tract infection) did not seem to be clearing. She brought her concerns to the attention of her mother’s care aides but was told that the signs of physical discomfort were likely only due to the progression of dementia. However, Tammy knew action had to be taken when she noticed her mother’s appetite waning, followed by symptoms of diarrhea. It was discovered that Deloris had c-difficile (a common illness among seniors in hospitals). Before the antibiotics for c-difficile could be administered, however, Tammy also insisted that a urine sample be taken to determine whether Deloris still had the UTI. Her intuition proved correct when results showed that the UTI had not cleared. By gathering the Ph.A.C.T.S™ and delving beyond the surface to ask “WHY”, without being dissuaded in the process, Tammy had uncovered the root causes (Physical) of her mother’s ailments to be so that they could be successfully treated.
Being a caregiver and an advocate often goes hand-in-hand, as Tammy’s story illustrates. Despite not being a trained nurse, she trusted her intuition, put the puzzle pieces together without letting time lapse, and was able to help her mother through a series of health challenges. Her detective work is a great example of the types of approaches I encourage both family and professional caregivers to apply. Taking a proactive stand may not always be easy, but armed with your detective hat, empathy, intuition and a bit of creative thinking, going the extra mile as a caregiver can often make all the difference for those we are caring for.
One Response
Good story Karen, been there done that. My mother was in a care home and called me to say she was having an angina attack and the aids would not listen. Being as I was only a few blocks away I went over and yes Mom was having a severe angina attack. I asked the nurse to call an ambulance but she refused Mom was only plying for attention. I didn’t say anymore I just went to the phone and called 911 gave the address and Mom spent almost a month in the hospital. When she got back the nurses were very apologetic to both Mom and me. I said the next time a patient says they are in pain and want attention do something. I am not accepting your apology at this time.