When her mom was diagnosed with early to mid stage Alzheimer’s dementia, Sarah moved her mom Mona in with her and her family. The co-living was proving to be great because Sarah felt ever closer to her mom Mona, but the disease put a wrench in the works.
Sarah learned that increasingly her mom was unable to make clear decisions in her daily life and personal care needs. She had to be much more involved in helping Mona make these decisions, but many times Mona resisted Sarah’s suggestions.
Mona suffered from incontinence, and to manage it she wore a thin pad as ladies sometimes do. The pad was too thin to help keep Mona clean, and on a daily basis Sarah was cleaning too many soiled undergarments. Sarah asked Mona if she would wear a larger incontinence pad to help manage the bigger leaks.
Mona became upset and refused. “The pads I wear are just fine,” she would proclaim. Every time Sarah would bring up the subject, her mom would just turn away and say she is happy with the pads she wears.
It was obvious that Mona had issues she didn’t want to face regarding her incontinence. Sarah could see the struggle that plagued Mona, so she didn’t push too hard.
One day, she decided to try an ingenious idea. She replaced the larger incontinence pads with the thinner pads, and placed them inside the same box her mom was used to. She didn’t say anything and just let the day go by and checked late in the day to see if any of the pads were used. To her relief, her mom had used the larger pads.
Sarah couldn’t say exactly whether it was her mom’s dementia that caused her to believe the pads were not the same, or if it was Mona’s need to keep up appearances that without a word she went ahead and used the incontinence pads that were in the familiar box. The main point about all this is that this creative idea worked…for both parties.
There are some very difficult and touchy situations that sometimes need out-of-box thinking and for those family caregivers that are running out of interesting solutions, I want them to know they can count on a professional for the job. Feel free to call me at 778-789-1496, to have me come in and bounce ideas to resolve these delicate situations.
Karen 🙂
Karen Tyrell, CDP, CPCA
Personalized Dementia Solutions
www.DementiaSolutions.ca
