It’s not uncommon for us to receive questions on what to do when someone doesn’t want to go to their doctor. “Carol” suspects that her husband “Henry,” may have dementia. She tried talking to her husband about getting tested for dementia, but he refuses to go. Carol was feeling at a loss. She needed ideas on how to “convince” her husband to get tested.
Early and correct diagnosis is a key concept in the treatment and management of any type of dementia. It’s important to emphasize that certain conditions can result in experiencing symptoms of dementia on a regular basis, but are treatable. For example, a vitamin B12 deficiency, a thyroid disorder, or infections, such as urinary tract infection (UTI). Once treatment has been sought, the symptoms of dementia can go away.
Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, currently does not have a cure. However, early and correct diagnosis allows the patient (and their family caregivers) to get the information and support they require so the person with dementia will have a better chance of achieving and maintaining their best quality of life.
Carol understood the importance of getting her husband diagnosed but was at a roadblock with his refusal to see a doctor.
Possible Reasons Preventing Henry from Seeking Medical Attention
At Dementia Solutions, we regularly remind caregivers that there is always a reason behInd the behaviours. In cases like this, the most common reason that prevents people from getting tested is…fear.
1. Fear of the “label” of being told they have dementia. Think about it for a moment. Most people avoid the doctor for fear of the possibility of receiving an official diagnosis of dementia. Any report on their diminished mental/cognitive capacity or a diagnosis of anything related to their “mental health will be scary. Sadly, the stigma surrounding dementia continues to exist.
2. Fear of the consequences of being diagnosed with dementia. The most common of which is having their driver’s license taken away, loss of employment/source of income, being sent to a care home, and fear of what lies ahead for themselves and their loved ones.
Fear is a consequence of the prevalent misconceptions about dementia. By being mindful of this fear, family caregivers may be able to bring some empathy to the situation. Providing education about dementia is also a great way to reduce fear and stigma.
However, there is one other common reason other than fear, that prevents people from making an appointment with their doctor… anosognosia.
Anosognosia comes from “A greek origin that roughly translates to ’without knowledge of the disease.’ You may also hear it called ‘lack of insight.’ What it boils down to is that the person is unaware of their condition and unable to accept it.” (“Anosognosia: Why Some People Stop Taking Their Meds” by Barbara Brody, November 9, 2022. WebMD).
Anosognosia is not about being “in denial” of someone’s situation or condition. Anosognosia is actually a medical condition where the brain is incapable of connecting its perceptions with reality.
In Henry’s case, this is a very real possibility. Carol’s attempt to “convince” Henry to seek medical attention would not be successful if Henry believes that there is “factually” nothing wrong with him.
Creative Ways to Motivate Someone to Get Tested for Dementia
1. Alleviate their fears. Avoid telling the person that the reason they need to see the doctor is to check if they have dementia or “assess their brain health.” This, understandably, can be a very intimidating and scary thought. It can precipitate other fears about mortality and significant changes that impact their quality of life. Instead, you can offer the following “scripts” as alternatives:
“We need to set up an appointment with our family doctor this week to get our vitamin levels checked. He said it’s recommended for people our age.”
“It’s time for our annual check-up. They have a cancellation this week. I agreed to the appointment as it’s hard to get an appointment with our doctor these days. Let’s just go and get this over with.”
Act like it’s not a big deal and that the appointment is something routine and not for anything specific or serious. You may even inquire with the doctor’s office if they are able to do house visits to reduce the fear of being in a medical building.
2. Do NOT push them to see a doctor. If the person you’re supporting is affected by anosognosia and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with them, we can’t force them to go. There is no value in telling them you are noticing changes. They may be inclined to think you’re the one with the problems.
Instead, try contacting their family doctor in advance and ask if the doctor’s office could call your loved one and let them know they are inviting patients who are due for an annual check-up.
Bruce Willis recently came out publicly about his diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia. According to Bruce and his family, one of his reasons for sharing the news with the world is to create awareness about dementia and the importance of early diagnosis. His family was quoted as saying, “While this is painful, it is a relief to finally have a clear diagnosis.”
Early diagnosis of dementia, albeit “painful” somehow brings peace of mind. It is “not knowing” that can cause more stress and anxiety for both the person with dementia and their loved ones.
A diagnosis of dementia can be very intimidating and scary. However, there is help and hope. While we are waiting for researchers to find a cure for all the different types of dementia, there are several local, national, and international supports and services, both in person and online for people with dementia and their caregivers.
If you have concerns about a loved one or a friend and don’t know what to do, you are not alone. You can do what my client “Carol” did. Reach out and ask for help. We can help by brainstorming ideas with you that will best suit your situation. Begin by contacting us through our website www.DementiaSolutions.ca to arrange your free 20-minute consultation with one of our Dementia Care Advisors.
DISCLAIMER:
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
One Response
I currently live my sister-in-law. Hilton, NY. We are both widows and economically is best for us.
I am 81 years young and she is 76. I have noticed several behaviors that are of concern. She has refused talking about this with doctors or family members. And as your article states she has told me I have the problem. She is a TV watcher. 7 days a week and watches the same shows three and four times. No interest in socializing until I became involved with a new church which I do volunteer work two or three days per week. She will only do our laundry and vacuums once every three to four weeks. Dusting every 6 months or if someone will be visiting. If I mention she gets upset. I clean three bedrooms and a full bath once a week and there is no motivation. She doesn’t reach out to her family but waits until they call her. The suggestions made are helpful but she refused at her doctors appointment to see a recommended specialist. Help.