Validation and reassurance—it’s something we all seek in some form. Whether we aim for a gold star on a school essay; an apology from someone you’ve been arguing with; or a pat on the back for a job well done. If we understand the value of validation and can appreciate the very human need to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. Then this is the understanding that is crucial to providing care for those with dementia.
A strictly medical approach to care is simply insufficient in addressing the real reasons. Especially, when an individual with dementia is exhibiting a certain behaviour.
The Case of “Allan and Ellen”
This was the case when it came to “Alan” and his wife “Ellen.”
Ellen, who had dementia, was initially hospitalized for medical care. However, Ellen had to remain in the hospital until she could be moved to a care home. While there, she made repeated attempts to leave and was thus labeled an “exit seeker.” A full-time minder was assigned to her to further deter her from leaving. A hospital gown was provided while her clothes were taken away. They were thinking that she would be too embarrassed to walk out in a state of undress. This strategy of course only magnified Ellen’s distress.
Despite being physically “safe” from the dangers of wandering out, Ellen did not feel safe. An important distinction to make. Imagine how you would feel in her place. In an unfamiliar setting, with your clothes taken away, unsure of when you would be leaving? And no one to really talk to or hear you out.
When I heard her story, I asked Alan if the staff tried calming her by assuring her that he would be visiting soon. That her stay was only temporary. He told me he was unaware of any such attempts.
The Value of Validation and Reassurance
It is certainly true that moving from a hospital to a care home can be a waiting game. However, to reassure someone like Ellen, who likely has memory loss and impaired reasoning. It is helpful to employ some Therapeutic Reasoning™ to understand what Ellen needs to hear and offer words of comfort.
Ellen’s anxiety could have been eased gradually if someone had told her in a slow and calm voice, “Hi Ellen, my name is Jane and I work here. I don’t blame you for being worried, let me look into your situation. I don’t think you will need to be here much longer. By the way, your husband called to say he loves you and that he’ll be visiting soon. In the meantime, why don’t we take a break over here, where it’s quiet, and look through this family photo album of yours.”
As Ellen’s story illustrates, individuals with dementia are defined by more than their medical condition. They are above all else, people, with the same basic needs for validation and reassurance that we all have. This is why a person-centered approach to care is so vital. And why a few simple words, worked with some Therapeutic Reasoning™, can make a huge difference in helping someone feel supported and truly safe.
Have you heard of stories like this where a “solution” was put into place that didn’t really address the real reasons for a person’s behaviour? Please share with us in the comments below.
If you need support in identifying the reason for a particular behaviour, and finding ways of creatively and effectively managing the situation, then please reach out to us for a free 20-minute consultation call by contacting: [email protected]
